This is my first-ever MEME and it comes by way of Isabella at Change Therapy.

“it’s really simple – if you want to be interviewed by someone who’s participating, just let them know, and they’ll send you five questions.”

Here are the questions Isabella asked me, and my answers:

1. there’s a guitar on your blog. what’s the story behind that?

That is a red Paul Reed Smith guitar which symbolizes my passion for music, especially the blues. Blue music on a red guitar. I drank the blues for breakfast out of a whiskey bottle before I was legally old enough to consume alcohol. In recovery, listening to the blues reminds me of where I came from, and gives me a sense of gratitude I’m no longer there. Addiction is like a complex spaghetti mess. One of the most tangled strings for me to unravel was uncovering the ways I avoided dealing with my emotions. Initially, I found life rather harsh and used drugs, alcohol, and binging and purging to take the edge off of reality. Eventually, I became an emotional flat-liner and progressed to a state of never-ending numbness. Part of the recovery process is willingness to feel on a visceral level. When I listen to Stevie Ray Vaughn play The Sky is Cryin ’, I feel the blues.

2. can you explain what a haibun is and give us some examples of your haibun writing?

Haibun is a Japanese literary composition that combines tight, terse prose and haiku. Traditionally, it records a scene or special moment along a journey, often spiritual in nature.

Here is an example of a hiabun I wrote about my family. My husband Jake and I met an AA meeting. After we married and had a child together, he relapsed. Last May, he overdosed and died. Saturday mornings were my favorite times together as a family.

Saturday Morning Ritual
by Roxie R.

The Daylilly and Iris Collection presents a prismatic play of colors on the east lawn of Kingwood Center, a 47-acre former estate garden where we meander on our Saturday morning walk. My husband Jake and I suspend our daughter Emma between our hands. Her frock flutters in the breeze.

Jake is Deaf, and we communicate with American Sign Language. Emma frees her hand and signs, “Hurry-I-want- to-feed-my-pet-peacocks.”

We travel the moist, earthy path carved between raised beds of tulips—fringed tulips, lily-flowered tulips, double tulips, and parrot tulips. Emma’s small fingers point and sign.

“Red-yellow-orange.”

Beyond the manicured cultivation of narcissus and Spanish bluebells, we follow the brick path to a duck pond. Emma and I hear the welcoming cries of guineas. Jake points to an alcove. A black swan sits among the lagoon grass on a nest of sticks and vegetation. She extends her long neck and immerses her flattened red-and-black bill into the pond to feed on the underwater plants.

Jake signs to Emma, “Soon-eggs-hatch. Gray-baby-cygnets-will-follow-behind-their-mommy-just-like-you.”

The pond’s edge leads us to the squawking squeals of captive peafowl. A brown peahen with metallic green plumage sits in the undergrowth near the fence. Emma tosses a handful of shell corn in her direction. An India Blue peahen comes to peck. Four feathered peachicks trail close behind.

Jake and I sit on a concrete bench close to the peafowl pen. Emma scatters grain across the fence. A cock with iridescent plumage parades from behind a small bush, fans his train, and quivers his quills. His raucous cry sends Emma rushing to my side.

“He-came-to-see-me. He-came!” she signs.

peacock folds fan
exotic eyespots vanish-
daughter follows mother home

~end

3. on the topic of writing: how does writing help you with your recovery?

Writing is my anti-drug. Recovery writing is tangible evidence of who I am.

… language uses us
the way that birds use sky

the way that seeds and viruses

braid themselves into a mammal’s fur

and hitchhike toward the future.

from Tony Hoagland’s poem Hearings in his book Donkey Gospel: Poems

4. and what do you think of dr. seuss as a writer?

Dr. Seuss wrote Yertle the Turtle . How could I not love him?

5. you are a christian in 12-step recovery. how would you explain the concept of a higher power / god to someone uncomfortable with christianity but who might nevertheless benefit from a 12-step program?

I would explain Alcoholics Anonymous isn’t a Christian program and it never was. The concept of a higher power/ god affords people of various religions, as well as agnostics and atheists, an opportunity for recover. AA may or may not help you get sober, but it will not save your soul.

I would tell them when I first came to the program I said, “If God exists, I’m sure He doesn’t want anything to do with me, and I don’t want anything to do with Him.” I did not get down on my knees with my sponsor and pray the Third Step Prayer until I was clean and sober for 18 months.

I would buy them a Big Book , 12&12 , and a cup of coffee.

Then, if they were willing to listen, I would share about my conversion to Christianity, and how the decision to follow Christ has impacted my recovery and changed my life.

Thank you Isabella for these questions.

You want to get in on the fun? You can be a part of it by following a few simple steps:

• Leave a comment here on this post and ask me to interview you.
• I’ll respond within 1-5 days with 5 questions directed to you (I promise to try and be unique)
• Answer the questions on your blog and link back to this post
• Invite others to participate by re-posting these steps
• Once you’ve posted your interview, I’ll post a link to it here.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

UPDATE: 01.16.09 MEME responses of Lynne who blogs at A Malaysian Aboard.

Thanks for participating!

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