I loved food.

I had more fantasies about food

than I did about my husband.

~Alison, Compulsive Overeater

 Alison is a self-professed compulsive overeater from southern California. We met at an online Twelve Step meeting. In support of National Eating Disorders Awareness week, she agreed to be interviewed for Recovery Rocks!

How do you define compulsive overeating?
Compulsive overeating is an unhealthy relationship with food. Before I got into recovery, I was obsessed with food. I was constantly either eating, or thinking about what I’d eat next and planning how I’d get it. I had food stashed all over the place at home, in my car and at work. I ate white taking bubble baths. I didn’t share and I made that very clear to my husband and kids. There was hell to pay if they got into my food. I was a “grazer” and always eating something. I ate while I was cooking, during meals, and while I was cleaning up the mess. I ate what my husband and kids left on their plates. I loved food. I had more fantasies about food than I did about my husband.

What were the consequences of your compulsive overeating?
I gained over 100 pounds which made me really angry because everyone could see I was out of control with food. I had to have my gallbladder out because I ate so much greasy fast food and my husband complained all the time because I started to snore really bad. I told my doctor and I ended up having sleep apnea because of my weight. It became expensive. In recovery, when I figured out how much money I spent a month on binge food I was shocked. The more weight I gained the less active I was and I couldn’t keep up with my kids and my house. I lost interest in shopping and eventually in my appearance.

What was your bottom like?
I went to a business dinner at a restaurant with my husband and his co-workers. They were seated at one of those large circular booths. When I went to sit down, I wouldn’t fit. There was a big commotion and they had to get me a chair to sit on. I was in the waiter’s way and had to pass drinks and plates of food across the table all evening. I felt so humiliated. So I started dieting. I tried the Zone Diet, Adkins diet, Nutra System, counting calories, and went to Weight Watchers. I couldn’t stick to any of them and ended up wasting more money. One of them women I work with lost weight and I asked her what diet she was on and she told me about Overeaters Anonymous and took me to my first meeting.

What’s your life like now?
I use the OA 301 food plan. I eat three meals a day, one day at a time and nothing in between. I plan my meals ahead of time and call my sponsor every morning and tell her what I’m going to eat that day. I made a list of my trigger foods and I don’t eat them. I no longer have a food stash or eat in secret. I worked the Twelve Steps with my sponsor and learned a lot about myself. One thing is I’m an emotional eater and would turn to food instead of dealing with my feelings. OA has taught me how to turn to God, my sponsor and my friends in the program instead. I am not obsessed with food today. I’ve released 80 pounds so far. I take it one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time.

Thank you Alison for sharing your experience, strength, and hope. All the best with your recovery.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

A common thread among people with eating disorders is difficulty with identification, expression, and management of emotions. Not only do they use their eating disorders as an ineffective coping mechanism, they often also often engage in self-injury.

What is Self-Injury?
Self-injury, also called “new age anorexia,” is the practice of self-abuse or mutilation. People self-injure as an attempt to alter their moods by inflicting physical harm sometimes serious enough to cause tissue damage to their bodies.

Most people who self-injure tend to be perfectionists and dislike, sometimes hate, themselves and their bodies. They often use self-injury as a way to punish themselves.

Some self-injurers report feeling numb and emotionally dead. Visualizing their blood externalizes their pain and makes them feel “alive” inside.

Types of Self-Injury:

• Cutting
• Carving
• Burning
• Branding (with hot objects)
• Bruising
• Breaking bones
• Biting (associated with rage)
• Hitting self with objects
• Picking at skin or scabs (often interferes with the healing process)
• Pulling hair out (trichotillomania)
• Scratching skin (often with fingernails)
• Marking
• Head banging
• Self punching

The most common self-injury practice is “cutting,” on one’s wrists, upper arms, chest, and inner thighs where it is less likely to be seen. Implements of destruction most often used are knife tips, razor blades, broken glass, and writing utensils.

Self-injury can be a cry for help, and though it can result in death, it is usually not a suicide attempt. Conversely, it is often used as a maladaptive means to release unbearable feelings and make life tolerable. When people who self-harm do attempt suicide, the method they choose is most often different than their self-injury behaviors.

Help for Self-Injury

Do not hesitate to seek medical attention if indicated for wounds. If necessary, call 911.

Like eating disorders, self-injury can be addictive. Qualified and competent professional assessment and treatment is almost always needed.

Online Resources:
SelfInjuryHelp.com
American Self-Harm Clearing House

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

Thirteen Thursday: Celebrities with Eating Disorders

Amy Winehouse had a huge worldwide hit with the single “Rehab.” Bulimic since her teens, her struggle increased when the tabloids called her “fat.”

Christina Ricci admits to anorexia and self-mutilation. “I put on a lot of weight, which was very difficult for me. In a way, I was trying to get rid of my breasts. Everyone my age wanted them, so it was like, whoo-ooo. Then I started hating them. And for all of my movies, I was supposed to be younger, so I’d have to strap them down.”

Kate Beckinsale openly discloses her teenage struggle with anorexia. “People keep asking me about it but I don’t want to be famous for being a former anorexic.”

Princess Diana was a taboo buster. She publicly disclosed her challenges adjusting to her princess lifestyle and her struggles with bulimia and self-injury. “You inflict it upon yourself because your self-esteem is at a low, and you don’t think you’re worthy or valuable. You fill your stomach up four or five times a day - some do it more - and it gives you a feeling of comfort.” She purged several times a day, and disclosed those close to her were not supportive to her cries for help.

Karen Carpenter was a successful singer in the 1970s. Her first diet was a water diet suggested by her physician. After a 20 pound weight loss, she was 5-feet 4-inches and weighed 115. Over the next ten years she took unnecessary thyroid pills, overdosed on laxatives and starved herself. Her lowest weight was 85 pounds. At the age of 32, she died of cardiac arrest related to her anorexia.

Sharon Osbourne has survived cancer and life with Ozzy. Even after having her stomach stapled shut, she admitted to purging frequently with her family’s knowledge.

Maureen McCormick who starred as Marcia Brady on The Brady Bunch says her battle with bulimia began after the show ended and she attended public high school where the other girls taught her how to purge.

Margaret Cho is a stand-up comedian, author and actress who openly admits she has struggled with both anorexia, bulimia, and abusing drugs to loose weight.

Sally Field says when she was 20, “everyone was Twiggy but me.” She began a three-year battle with bulimia during the filming of The Flying Nun.

Alanis Morissette suffered from anorexia and bulimia between the ages of 14 to 18. She restricted her diet to carrots, black coffee, and Melba toast.

Gilda Radner was known for characters like Roseanne Roseannadanna and Baba Wawa on the Saturday Night Live Show. She was bulimic, and once told a reporter she had “thrown up in every toilet in Rockefeller Center.”

Terri Schiavo entered into a vegetative state in 1990 as a result of bulimia and an “iced tea diet.” Potassium deficiency caused irreversible brain damage and put her into a coma. She remained in a vegetative state for the last 15 years of her life. She died when her feeding tube was removed.

Fiona Apple says her anorexia developed after being raped when she was 12 by an intruder at her mother’s house in New York City. She also admits to self-injury.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

Pica is an Eating Disorder characterized by persistent cravings and compulsive eating of non-nutritive substances. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders classifies pica as a feeding and eating disorder of childhood, though it is not exclusive to children. Adults can also have pica, especially pregnant women. Chimpanzees, cats, and dogs have also been known exhibit pica.The word pica comes from the Latin name for magpie, a bird reputed to eat almost anything.

People with pica eat:

• Dirt
• Soap
• Clay
• Play Doh
• Chalk
• Mucus
• Paper
• Wood
• Gum
• Cornstarch
• Cigarette butts
• Paint chips
• Sand
• Feces
• Urine
• Glass
• Ice cubes
• Salt
• Blood

Pica Diagnosis
In order to be diagnosed with pica, a history of persistent consumption of a non-food substance continuing for a minimum period of one month must be present. Infants and toddlers, notorious for randomly putting things in their mouths, are typically excluded from this diagnosis. Persons with mental retardation who function at or below an approximate cognitive level of 18 months may also be exempt from diagnosis.

Dangers of Pica
Pica can be dangerous. Compulsive consumption of ice cubes, which may seem harmless, can cause decreased absorption of nutrients by the gut. Ingesting lead-based paint or paper containing mercury can cause toxic poisoning and brain damage. Dirt can contain animal feces and accompanying parasites. There is also the risk of gastro-intestinal obstruction or tearing in the stomach.

Causes of Pica
Limited research reveals persons with pica may suffer from a biochemical deficiency, specifically an iron deficiency. Some patients diagnosed with iron deficiency anemia admit to pica behaviors. The substance eaten by those with the disorder often contains the mineral of deficiency. If no mineral deficiency is present, it often leads to the diagnosis of a mental disorder.

Treatment of Pica
Treatment of pica is contingent on the cause of symptoms and type of pica. For some persons with iron deficiency, supplements cause the unusual cravings to cease. Counseling, education, and nutritional management is often more successful than treatment with medication.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

Men with bigorexia think that no matter how hard their body is, it’s never muscular enough. While not yet an Eating Disorder categorized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a text published by the American Psychiatric Association that provides diagnostic criteria for mental disorders, bigorexia is typically found in body-building circles and known as muscle dysmorphia or reverse anorexia.

Bigorexia sufferers constantly worry that they are too small and are willing to take dangerous health risks to increase their muscle mass. They are often preoccupied with their strict, high-protein diets, and take anabolic steroids despite experiencing side effects such as increased aggression and roid rage, acne, baldness, breast enlargement, impotence, and testicular shrinkage.

They exercise excessively, spending long hours lifting weights, compulsively continuing to work out even when they know it could hurt their health, and take time away from their families and jobs.

Unlike some body builders who readily showoff their physiques, bigorexics often avoid social, work-related or recreational activities where their body will be exposed.

At the gym, they constantly compare themselves to others and conclude they are smaller, even if they are the same size or bigger than the other person. They check themselves in the mirror up to 12 times a day, compared to roughly three times a day with other weight lifters.

Bigorexia affects hundreds of thousands of men. Women weight lifters can also be affected.

Collectively, they tend to have low self-esteem and were often teased and bullied as children because of their small size. Studies have found that 29 per cent of men with bigorexia have a history of anxiety disorder, and 59 per cent exhibit some other form of mood disorder.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques that identify and help change patterns of thinking towards more realistic, achievable goals show promise in treating bigorexia, though further research is needed to determine if indeed it is Eating Disorder.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

Compulsive overeaters eat excessive amounts of food, in short periods of time. Unlike with other eating disorders, compulsive overeaters do not purge, and their binges often cause them to be overweight or obese. They use food as a drug to numb their feelings, to fill a void they feel inside, and as a coping mechanism for stress.

Some compulsive overeaters hide behind their large physical appearance, using it as a blockade to keep family and friends at bay. This is especially common among survivors of sexual abuse.

They feel ashamed for being overweight and feel guilty for not being “good enough,” Feeling of low self-esteem often fuel the cycle of compulsive overeating. Ironically, compulsive overeaters often isolate themselves and turn to food for as a substitute for love and affection.

Almost everyone overeats occasionally, especially at holidays or celebrations. What separates compulsive overeaters is the sense of lack of control over food experienced during a binge.

Compulsive overeating increases the health risks for heart attacks, high cholesterol blood-pressure, arthritis and bone deterioration, and kidney disease.

Most compulsive overeaters have a history of failed attempts at dieting and weight management.

For free help with compulsive overeating and other eating disorders, contact Overeaters Anonymous.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles on Eating Disorders and Obesity

National Eating Disorders Awareness (NEDA) Week kicks off today. It’s a time to educate about what eating disorders are, how they develop and progress, and where to find help to recover.The mission of NEDA week “is to ultimately prevent eating disorders and body image issues while reducing the stigma surrounding eating disorders and improving access to treatment. Eating disorders are serious, life-threatening illnesses - not choices - and it’s important to recognize the pressures, attitudes and behaviors that shape the disorder.”

This year’s theme is:
…until eating disorders are history

It is estimated that 10 million females and 1 million males in the U.S. suffer from anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Millions more have binge eating disorder. Combined with the widespread obesity epidemic, and the number of individuals in who have disordered patterns of eating, and it’s imperative to raise awareness, increase treatment options, and further research on eating disorders.

This week people across the United States are holding events, hosting booths, organizing walks, and much more to support NEDA Week.

What Can YOU Do:
Be creative! As mentioned in a previous post, bloggers, writers, poets, tunesmiths, photographers, graphic artists, textile artists, digital scrapbookers can use their voice and talents to spread the word and support the cause…

…until eating disorders are history

If you publish your Eating Disorder Awareness work on your blog or website, please let me know and I will link to it.

In support of NEDA Week, I will begin an ongoing series about eating disorders this week.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

Read related articles about Eating Disorders and Obesity

Current economic conditions can complicate recovery from alcoholism and other addictions.

Like so many others I know from Twelve Step programs, it is not easy for me to ask for help.

The Freecycle Network is a grassroots, non-profit organization made up of individuals around the planet who give and get free stuff in their hometowns

Freecycle’s mission is “to build a worldwide gifting movement that reduces waste, saves precious resources & eases the burden on our landfills while enabling our members to benefit from the strength of a larger community.”

Each local Freecycle group is run by a volunteer who moderates online groups . When you have something you want to give away, you send an e-mail offering it to members of your Freecycle group.
When you need something, you can respond to a member’s offer. It’s up to the giver to decide who receives the gift and to set up a pickup time.

You can also send a request and let your group know what you are looking for.

Membership is free. You can sign up to join your community on the Freecycle website. If your community doesn’t have a group yet, you can start one.

Disclaimer: As always, exercise caution when meeting people from the Internet. Take someone with you. Meet in a highly public place during the day. Make sure your cell phone is charged. Make sure someone knows where you are going.

Freecycle works for me because I can be a giver, not just a taker.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

I’m Southern, and my momma taught me “Pretty is as pretty does.”

Growing up, whether I was gussied up in my girly-girl Sunday-best ruffled dress and patent leather shoes, or were wearin’ cut off jeans and a halter top making mud pies down at the crick, I was expected to act like a little lady.

To this day, I say “sir” and “ma’am.”

And now that I am grown, my new front name is “Miss,” and those younger publicly address me as “Miss Roxanna.”

It’s not that I was raised highfalutin.

I wasn’t.

I am from humble, simple people who never had much to start with, and what they do have, they work long and hard to keep.

Among my kinfolk, one of the most important things to have is a good name.

I was taught if you want respect, act respectable.

It did not take much liquor or dope for me to act unladylike and unrespectable.

A month before I got clean and sober, I received this letter in the mail photocopied on plain white paper inside a plain white envelope with my address printed on the front. There was no return address, and the postmark was Las Vegas, Nevada, where I lived at the time.

Dear Miss Roxanna:

Perhaps you have heard of my nationwide temperance campaign. Each year for the past decade, I have made a tour of Texas, Florida, and southern Georgia, up through Indiana, Iowa and Illinois - delivering sermons on the evils of drinking. I have been accompanied on this tour by my young friend and assistant, Loretta Lindstrom.

Loretta, a woman of good family and excellent background, is a pathetic example of a life ruined by excessive indulgence in whiskey and wild men.

Loretta has always appeared with me at my lectures - sitting on the platform wheezing and staring at the audience through bleary, bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking her nose, wetting her pants, passing gas and making obscene gestures while I pointed her out as an example of what overindulgence can do to a person.

Last fall, Loretta died. A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you would be available to take her place on this year’s spring tour.

Yours in faith,

The Venerable Reverend Elton Jones

I was so pissed when I read that, I didn’t know whether to have a hissy fit or a conniption fit!

I asked several people if they sent it to me, and no had the moxie to fess up.

Later, I found a version online as an excerpt from Cow Pies - A Messy Journey Through the Pasture of Life by Gene McDougall and Nelson Campbell.

Rule 62: “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously.”
~ Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 148

I laugh about it today, but I’d still like to know who sent it.

I want to thank them.

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall

I live in an insular, rural region at the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains in the United States. I do not have to look far to see severe poverty and desolation.

Actually, I can see it outside the window in my front room.

I visit folks who cannot afford to keep all their utilities turned on at once, and live month-to-month trying to stretch the beans and rice they get in a free food box from a Methodist local church.

Sometimes, I am ashamed at my lack of gratitude for all God has given me.

I live inside a color-coordinated, non-cardboard house. All my utilities are turned on. I have a job. There is healthy food in the fridge and cupboards. I have reliable transportation. I have medical insurance.

I have a beautiful, healthy daughter who is my pride and joy.

And my arms are long enough to pick up my guitar, tune it, and jam on…

I would most likely have none of the above if I weren’t clean, sober, and abstinent.

I’d probably be unemployable, an unfit mother, and my guitar would be in the pawn shop if I was not incarcerated or institutionalized and still alive.

What do you have to be grateful for today?

Recovery Rocks!

Roxie

You are invited to sign the Recovery Wall